The swans gather to play
During the lonely day
The love is true
Never once blue
The colour of innocence
Shows pure love's patience
Sometimes it has gone
Neurotic to the bone
A lesson they learn
At the same time earn
Notes
Okay..... I was inspired to write this poem after reading a comic (love themed) which explains the theme for this poem. I like it but at the same time dislike it because I think I lacked originallity in this poem. I don't know, you be the judge.
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Blog Description: Did you not read the title?!
8 comments:
u 13 years old? then, yr poem is awesome ;)
I am 13 years old currently believe it please.
originality comes from your heart.. you gotta feel love to earn it..once u've earned it, you eiher make or break it..but i bet you'll make girls/women succumb to u with ur words..and then u can write poem singing 'pencinta wanita' ..ahaks..u r gifted dik!
Well, I'm not sure about the reallity talk part but thank you for the comment .
Emil, I agree with the "no originality part".. you know why? You have your own.... hmm... style! I am not sure what exactly to "name your style", but I think I follow your style for the first two paragraphs.
The third paragraph - you could have done it better I think... I don't have any suggestion though on how to give more "umpph" to it.. but anyway, it is still a good poem to enjoy!
At least compare to me, you are a better writer!
Yes, Miss Kimi I noticed that don't worry.
Dear nephew,
I would avoid using neurotic to the bone simply for one reason, its overly used ever since green day coined the phrase in one of his songs....try looking up into the dictionary for other synonyms of neurotic...
I just had to stick that line there till someone noticed
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